The Right to be Natural

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The United States has prided itself on being one of the most racially diverse countries in the world. For centuries millions of African Americans have lost their lives and suffered for the right of equality and fairness in a Caucasian owned country.

Sure, slavery was abolished in 1865, and the Civil Rights Movement ended in 1968 but the fact is America is not as liberal and racially unbiased as its lead on to be.

On April 1 the U.S Army updated its Army Regulation 670-1, a code of conduct that explains rules and regulations that each soldier must obey including hairstyles wore by soldiers. According to the new regulations, hairstyles commonly favored by African American women have been strictly prohibited and soldiers found in violation will face non-judicial punishment from commanders in the form of administrative discipline.

With the approximately 44.5 million African American inhabiting America, one would assume that there would be a better understanding the African American culture and traditions. African Americans have been wearing protective hairstyles such as twist, dreadlocks and braids for hundreds of years because of the unique growth pattern of kinky/curly hair.

Sgt. Jasmine Jacobs, of the National Guard, began a White House petition that calls for the U.S Army to reconsider their decision to prohibit the African-American friendly hairstyles.

“Most black women, their hair doesn’t grow straight down, it grows out,” she said. “I’m disappointed to see the Army, rather than inform themselves on how black people wear their hair, they’ve white-washed it all.”

On one hand, there is no way for an African American woman with natural hair to achieve the approved hairstyles without cutting off their hair, wearing a wig or chemically altering their hair. On the other hand, this should come as no surprise from a predominately Caucasian profession.

“Females with natural hair take strides to style their natural hair in a professional manner when necessary; however, changes to AR 670-1 offer little to no options for females with natural hair,” Jacobs states in the petition.

Regulations or not, the miseducation of many may lead to the oppression of a third of the female population in the army. Caring for black hair is an intense and time consuming process that if not done right would result in severely damaged hair, but it’s often eased by the hairstyles that are banned by the U.S Army.

Since African American hair does not have the same growth formation as Caucasian hair, it is understandable how black hair could get in the way of headgear. By braiding or twisting hair could be an easy solution for that problem. Most African American women that don’t chemically relax their hair have issues with pulling their hair up in styles such as a bun or ponytails because of the fullness and texture of their hair. Depending on the length and fullness of a black woman’s hair it could take up to two hours to straighten their hair using a hot-comb or flat iron. With the time restrictions that branches of military face that is an unreasonable amount of time to spend on your hair.

If hairstyles like ponytails and buns, that are convenient for Caucasian or other races that are known for having fine hair, were banned there would be utter chaos. The United States Army made a huge mistake by putting these restrictions into action. In their world there is no room for individuality only uniformity and it is about time that someone has brought this issue to light. African American women will continue to be disregarded unless a change is made starting here with the U.S Army.

The ENDfidelity

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Quite a bit can be said about men who seem to have anxieties about certain aspects of their lives such as intimacy and commitment. But since when does every living male on this planet have anxieties regarding their interpersonal relationships.

Psychologist Mark H. Thelen conducted a study to compare the sexes on the Fear-of-intimacy scale. The study found men actually score higher than women on the scale. This finding supports the thoughts many women across the world regarding men and being terrified of relationships and commitment.

The never-ending debate on whether men are genetically wired to fear relationships and intimacy will never go away and for good reason. There is absolutely no proof or evidence that suggests men can’t be monogamous. Yet women are convinced that males cannot commit. But why?

When it comes to monogamy and showing any sort of affection, people automatically think of women. In most cultures, women are seen as the caretaker and men are seen as the protector and breadwinner. As early as history has been recorded men have been the dominant sex and among men the alpha male is promiscuous. As time goes on, the promiscuity is more for pleasure and to demonstrate masculinity than it is for reproduction.

A considerable number of acts of promiscuity and relationship anxiety are taught behaviors, not learned. The responsibility of these actions should typically be placed on what parents, peer groups and the media are teaching men and boys what it means to be a “real” man. Activist, Jackson Katz stated in the 2013 documentary Tough Guise 2 that from an early age men are taught to always rough and rarely show emotion.

Today in Western culture, many men praise other men for promiscuity and having the cliché bachelor life. It’s presumed by some that if you are monogamous in a relationship or sexually, then you are not a real man. Men’s social standards for each may be the root of why women are so quick to assume that all men are not willing to commit.

20th Century Fox felt as though it was absolutely necessary to embody the idea of hot shot promiscuous adulterer once again in a new film called The Other Woman. The whole concept of the film is a successful, highly attractive businessman is cheating on his wife, his mistress and his second mistress.

Without passing judgment on anyone’s lifestyle or pop culture, this begins the praise cycle of those men who glamorize adulterous acts and having multiple partners.

America has become utterly infatuated with pop culture, so when the news and social media tend to unknowingly commend particularly famous men for their adulterous ways it gets instilled that it is an acceptable act. Over the course of the years we’ve seen the media attention that men such as Arnold Schwarzenegger, Robin Thicke and Bill Clinton received for their extramarital activities. The headlines may indicate that their actions are being condemned, but the bigger message the media is giving is that this is what’s popular and this is what is going to get you noticed by many.

Numerous other research studies questioned the motives behind men’s infidelity and lack of commitment. The website, EverydayHealth claims that approximately 56 percent of men have admitted to have anxieties about relationships and intimacy, which resulted in infidelity.

This machismo themed conclusion is negative in the sense that this is not how majority of men should be represented. The barrier some men were taught to have up at all times must come down at some point and during an intimate relationship is the time that is expected to happened. Sometimes that does not happens which leads to feelings of emotional disconnection.

Whether these actions carried out are deemed good or bad it will continue to happen. The various research studies being conducted, the thousands of dollars spent on couple’s therapy, the number of individual admitting and being victimized will only increase with time. One person’s mess should not account for an entire demographic.

 

The Princess and the CREEEEP!!!!!!

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This article is dedicated to ALL the girls who are guilty of doing some hardcore creeping on their significant other or ex.

Majority of us are guilty of this and DON’T DENY IT!!!!

Note: According to Urban Dictionary the definition of a Creeper is a person who does weird things, like stares at you while you sleep, or looks at you for hours through a window.

Everyday millions of couples are getting together and breaking up every seconds of the day. Couples have their problems, things happen and people grow apart.

Majority of the women who are guilty of being a domesticated creep while in relationships. This can be for various reasons. Sadly, it is a result of a women have been cheated on or just pure curiosity.
But like they always say curiosity killed the cat. I have to admit I have creeped on a dreadful ex during the duration of our relationship but I, personally, did not go psycho and call him 24/7 to see who he is with and what he is doing. I just innocently hacked into his email and MySpace….. Yes, I said MYSPACE. That just shows how long ago my last relationship was.
But, ladies in all seriousness do not do what myself and other women have fallen victim to doing. If you want to build or fix a relationship you need to trust the person completely. My personal saying is ” I will trust you completely, until you give me a reason not to trust you anymore.”

There was an instance where a friend of mine talked me into going with her and walking past a guy she used to have sex with house, just to see if he was at home and see who he was with. She would go from being the happiest person, to this raging crazy person who is rants about how angry she was with him. ( Hopefully she doesn’t get mad at me for writing that) 

Both men and women sometimes find themselves in a situation where they have completely gone off the deep end and can be officially be considered a stalker… Well in my eyes at least. For whatever reason you are creeping on a person, stop to think…… “How would  (insert name) feel if he/she found out that I was (insert creeper actions)?”

If you need motivation not to become a  super creep check out the Overly Attached Girlfriend Memes.
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Moral of the story is that you shouldn’t let things consume your happiness.. Just be happy and live life!!!!! ❤

 

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5 Signs He’s Just Not That Into You

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If I said “This is the story of my life!”, that would be a major under statement. I don’t have much luck in the love department. Either I can’t find someone that I am genuinely interested in or I do find someone I’m interested in but something always goes terribly wrong. So, I’m going to attempt to help out some fellow lost souls and give you a few signs that a guy is NOT interested in you!!!!!

1.You Barely Talk Anymore

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This one just more recently happened to me. You guys went from texting, having great conversation in person and IMing each other to him not even bothering to respond back to your texts. Yeah people do become busy but, that does not mean completely ignore the person for weeks on in then decide to contact them. If you are really interested in someone, no matter how busy you are you will find time for that person,especially when you just so happened to see him on Facebook all the time.

2.You’re Not Allowed To Mention Him To ANYONE

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I think this is a dead give away that he does not like you. If you have been having sexual relations with this guy and he tells you that he doesn’t want you to talk about you guys with anyone even your friends, then there is a problem. Another thing could be that he is dating/sleeping with someone else. Don’t put up with that, know your worth and know that you are worth more than a guy who is obviously embarrassed of you or sleeping around.

3. He Is UNRELIABLE or lies a lot

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I also like to call this the Pinocchio effect!!! If you and the guy have plans and he always “claims” that something came up and he’ll make it up and never does then that is sure sign that he isn’t into you. Or maybe he just lies more than an average person. White lies are fine every now and then because hey let’s admit it we all do it, but when everything about what he does and what he says in completely fabricated then it just may be time call it quits.

4. You Haven’t Met His Friends Or You’re STILL The “Friend”

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If you guys have been dating for months and you have yet to meet any of this friends then that may be a sign of a few things:

A.) He doesn’t have any friends

B.) He’s embarrassed of his friends

C.)A LEGIT reason!!! Ex: scheduling conflicts (Can Easily Be Fixed) or his friends don’t live in same area

D.)He’s embarrassed of you ( See Section 2 Above)

If you have already discussed this and he still refuses to introduce you to his friends then you should rethink you’re future together. Also, in some cases you just might be the “FRIEND”. BEWARE OF THE FRIEND ZONE!!!!!! I don’t think I have much to say about the friend zone.

5.) He Make It Known That He Doesn’t Like You

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If he tells you straight up one of the following things: “I don’t want a relationship.”, “I DO NOT like you that way.”, or “Let’s be friends.” then he SIMPLY does not like you.  Or maybe he just so happen to flirt with your best friend or made out with a random girl in front of you.
I know these are really blunt, but personally I would rather have a guy tell me straight up that he does not like me than waiting by the phone for him to call, text or if you’re socially awkward that may mean waiting for a Facebook message.

I hope this helped someone out and maybe saved someone from the frustration and heart ache ❤

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How to NOT suck at Valentine’s Day!!!!!

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If you guys are anything like me, you’ll know what I mean when I say “I hate Valentine’s Day”.

I must admit that for the past few years, I’ve been the bitter single person. The person that never has a Valentine and just sits around eating ice cream, despite the fact that I am lactose intolerant. For years I’ve said things like, “LOVE SUCKS” and “I’M FOREVER ALONE”, but this year things were different. This year I said why be that bitter single person, who brings down everyone just because I don’t have anyone to spend Valentine’s Day with.
Love doesn’t suck… the men I choose suck!!!! Me, like many other women, have a HORRRRRRIIIIBBBBLLLLLEEEE habit of picking the wrong men and also settling for less than what they truly deserve.

The first step to not suck at Valentine’s Day is to just embrace being single,  be happy with your own personal accomplishments and look forward to the future.  This is a great day to show your family and friends that you appreciate them.

So, if you are single during Valentine’s Day and you are being a party pooper just remember that, good things comes to those who wait!!!!!! 🙂

I hope this helped turn someone’s frown up-side down. Patience is virtue and knowledge is key<3

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